


Breath and Blood

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ?? for names and character mentions, Gen, Spoilers, its also really bad gomen, uh, whoops this is old and im uploading it now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 03:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You didn't see how most of them died, and goddamn, you think you'd even give up humanity's current victory over the titans if it meant you could bring them back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breath and Blood

The grass beneath your feet is soaked with fresh blood. The soles of your boots are too, and you can imagine what Corporal Levi would have to say about that.

 

You look around. You see Mikasa, lying face down. The sight of her lifeless body makes you gag, and you try your best not to collapse on the ground next to her and hug her. Strangely enough, there's no blood around her body, and compared to the others, it looks as if she died relatively peacefully. It pains you to look.

 

Turning to your right, you see Armin, eyes wide, staring into the sky. His mouth is slightly open, probably from the mere shock of knowing that his breath was the last thing he’d ever experience, the only thing he would ever know before he died. You’re not even sure how he died. You didn’t see, and there's nothing near him to give you any indication.

 

Jean is behind Armin in your field of vision: his own blade had pierced his chest, and you can only imagine what his last moments were like. It must have been painful to die like he did. Your mind flits back to images of Marco and how he met his end, and you sincerely hope that wherever Jean is right now, Marco is too.

 

Next to him lie the limp bodies of Connie and Sasha. They both bled to death – you saw it yourself, and it’s not something you want to ever see again. You remember them being the comic relief of the group, the ones to bring a bit of spirit to dark days. You’d never hear any one-liners from them again.

 

Historia is lying on her back with her eyes closed, and see almost looks as if she was stargazing and then fell asleep. You wish you could say that was all that had happened to her.

 

Despite your current situation, having seen the dead bodies of your friends and all, you still can't help but wonder where Bertholdt and Reiner are now. Ymir, too. And Annie. Are they alive? Are they dead? Did they return to their hometown and stay there, or did they return? You suppose you may never know, depending on whether you decide to attempt to get back home.

 

Speaking of the others, Levi and Hanji aren't here. You can't see them with the bodies, so they're either alive and somewhere else or dead and somewhere else. Either way, finding them would give you a sense of relief. At least if you find them you'll know whether to wait or try and get back alone.

 

You decide to leave the bodies for a minute to venture deeper into the woods in search of others. There's no danger of titans, so why not? You need some time alone anyway.

 

You step over Mikasa, and walk. You just walk, not stopping for anything. You don't stop when you think you hear noises. You don't stop when you think you've gone too far. You don't stop for a while.

 

You eventually come to a small clearing. Sunlight streams through a gap in the trees, and brightly coloured flowers grown in the patch of light. Without thinking, you crouch down and pick as many of the flowers as you can. There's big purple ones, and small white ones, and medium-sized yellow ones, and they all look beautiful. They're in all shapes and sizes, so you take a lot.

 

You try and remember the direction you came in and start walking back. You hope that this is the right way, but if you're honest, you wouldn't care if it wasn't. You could just keep walking until you die of exhaustion and your body would be left to rot.

 

Your feet pace over soft grass and tree roots, and despite tripping a few times, you walk as determinedly as you did on the way to the clearing. (Admittedly, you didn't know the clearing was there before, but you knew that any place would be better than where you were.)

 

When you finally return to the war zone, you see your friends lying dead and you get that sickening feeling again. The squad leaders are nowhere to be found.

 

Your first priority is Mikasa. You return to her and kneel down. You hug her body, remembering the warmth of her scarf for what you think is the last time. You finally let her go and position her body so that she's facing towards the sky like Ymir and Christa, with her hands together on her chest. You leave the biggest red flower in between her palms so it looks like she's holding it. You tuck a small white daisy behind her ear along with her hair.

 

You move over to Armin, and hug him too. You reposition him like you did with your sister and you make him hold the biggest blue flower. Even if you get back alive, everything's going to be so different without your best friend. Everything will be so different without _everyone_ , now you think about it.

 

You tend to Jean, and you like to think that he wouldn't want to be posed like the others, so instead you put his hands behind his head so it looks like he's just relaxing on the grass. You leave a large yellow flower on his chest anyway.

 

When you move Connie and Sasha you really start to feel the tears flowing, despite the fact that you know you've been crying for the last hour or so. You just didn't seem to feel it. You position them hand in hand, entwining their fingers and slipping the stalk of a bright purple flower in between. 

 

You don't feel like you need to move Christa so you leave yellow flowers on her chest. 

 

You hear the sound of hoofbeats in the distance and dismiss it as one of the squad's stray horses. You return to Mikasa.

 

Even if you live, you doubt you'd want to without your sister and best friend. She's not your blood relative - but she's as good as. She was the only one who could fully calm you down, and she was the only one you'd listen to most of the time. You don't want to live in a world without your sister. You love her.

 

You consider plunging your blade through your chest and dying at her side. Would that make you a hero or a coward?

 

" _Jaeger._ "

 

A stern voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You turn, and you're looking straight at brown animal legs. You look up, and Levi is perched atop the horse. Surely he's seen the bodies by now.

 

Hanji appears at his side, seemingly from nowhere. She dismounts, though, and crouches down next to you.

 

"It's a lovely thing you've done for them all," she says, and you look at her. You can see her tears in her eyes, even through her glasses. "They'll be happy staying here."

 

"What do you mean, staying here?" you question.

 

"We can't take the bodies back, Jaeger. We have two horses between us and we need to get back as quickly as possible," Levi insists.

 

"But can't we at least take one back?"

 

"No, because if I say yes and make you choose you'll want to take everyone and we can't do that," he says sharply. "They're okay here. Let's leave them as they are."

 

"They're fine here, don't worry. The priority here is to get ourselves back safely," Hanji says somewhat comfortingly. She stands up and offers you a hand. You grasp it and pull yourself up.

 

You take a last look at all of the bodies as you mount the horse with Hanji and as you do you hear her sniffle, along with the low mumble of Levi muttering to himself. It's barely audible, but you can make out some parts and it's one of his speeches that he gives to the corpses. He obviously doesn't want to go around to them all individually - he just wants to leave quickly. He doesn't even ask if you're ready before turning around and slowly riding back in the direction they must have came from. 

 

You cling onto Hanji, and she lets out another sniff as you ride away from the bodies of your friends.

***

Somewhere far behind where the remaining soldiers rode off to, a small sound can be heard. A sigh escapes from the dry lips of a certain black-haired warrior, her breath hitching immediately after.

 

"Eren..."

 

Her eyes flitter open.

 

**"You left me..."**

**Author's Note:**

> kyokyos.tumblr.com / taetiramisu.co.vu


End file.
